Larry's E-mail About "Ventricular" Cancer

Below is an e-mail my old buddy, Larry, sent. You can read the post "Cancer of the Heart" to learn more about his story. I'm posting it because it won that day's "Make Me Laugh" contest, and because I thought it was very insightful. I don't think any two patients have the same experiences, but surely they can be similar, and I definitely appreciate his sharing his version with me. Maybe it will win your day's Laugh contest, too.

This is probably rated PG-13, so don't read it if you offend easily. And don't write to me about how you're offended if you go ahead and read it anyway.


Amy,

So sorry to hear your news. I'm guessing you were aware of your situation at the reunion. [AP: We had our 20th reunion of our 8th grade class in April. Who has 8th grade reunions? The Visitation Vikings, that's who!!! And, no, I didn't know about the cancer at the time.]

It does seem like you have the right attitude and with that I say, "Welcome to the fraternity, or I guess sorority." Holy shit, Amy Ferrone is in a sorority!?!??.

I can tell you that humor, honesty and sincerity is what got me through my bout with cancer...I know you'll be able to summon those traits when you need them.

Now, I've always considered testicular cancer the "pussy of all cancers" b/c it's so treatable (I should interject here and let you know this won't be a most mature, G-rated email you'll receive). A little snip, snip and summer full of drugs and I was off on my way, drinking my weight at UW. But it's still my proudest moment. I beat it...I rose to the challenge, put a smile on my face and took it head on.

That's the interesting thing about cancer survivors...we don't pick our challenges it picks us. Some people can say, "Hmmm, I like to run so I'll do a marathon, or I like the outdoors so I'm going to climb the Himalayas, or I like to write so I'll write a novel"...but no one says, "I love needles and hospitals so i'm gonna go get me some cancer." One day you feel something weird, and there you have it...your challenge.

I go back to the mindset of it all. I remember I felt obligated to keep everyone's spirits up. I'm sure your noticing that sometimes it's harder for the family and friends of a cancer patient then the patient himself. I could handle it all, I knew my threshhold and to a certain extent: What are my options but to roll up my sleeve and let the nurse load me up? But my parents and family struggled.

Don't get me wrong, they were amazing but they had to deal with the guilt and uncertainty. So my smile and jokes("one ball, no strikes," "ol' oney," "twice the man but have the genitalia") were my way of picking up everyone around me.

I love this blog...It's incredible...I wish this were at my disposal when I was going through it...I have forgotten so much of my battle(which is a good thing)...I'm sure it's very cathartic for you so keep it up and I'll try and keep up with you...you will be in our prayers(gwen is thinking of you too) and please feel free to use me as a resourse and bitching soundboard.

And one more thing....if you're going through chemo and you want to feel normal, and you convince yourself that a meal deal at taco bell of a beef meximelt will fill that void...don't do it...you're just not ready....I wasn't and I barfed all over the parking lot at Butterfield and York.


Thinking of you,

your old buddy,
Larry