The Name Game: Almost Half Way

Round 3 of chemo is in my body. In 2 more weeks, I'll officially be at the half-way point of the chemotherapy portion of treatment.

You're about to see how this all ties in.

But first, this week's Name Game Round-up:

Sister #1 is next to me, on Lil Sweetie, playing various versions of "What's It All About Alfie?" OK, Laura. I believe that this is a real song. OK, OK, OK! Make it stop. . .

Sister #2, Mary Jean, decided to stop pleading, "I'm not into music the way the rest of you are" and go the mattresses by reading her CD booklets. And what did she find? A very nice nesting:

Robin Hood
William Tell
Ivanhoe
Lancelot

All from ELO's "Can't Get it out of My Head." We already have "William" in the list, but we'll take the other 3 and, thanks, now, for getting a song into our heads that we can't get out.

She doesn't stop there. MJ also submits Beethoven and a few other composers from another ELO song, "Rockaria." We can't take last names, but big props for effort.

And then a few indisputables from the rest of Mary Jean's list:

Beau - from Joshua Kadison's "Beau's au Night Radio Love Line"

Jacob - from U2's "Bullet the Blue Sky"
Jara - from U2's "One Tree Hill."

Am I humbled that the non-into-music sister scored 2 names from U2 that I had not thought of? Indeed.

6 names from one sister who doesn't even like music! Cha-Ching is right.

Emily wrote into the comments section, full of the energy of the newly pregnant (congrats, Emily!) and thus ready for any challenge. She mined deep and pulled out some realy beauties from Broadway:

Jud - from Oklahoma!'s "Poor Jud"

Plutarch
Claudius
Brute (as in Brutus) - all from 7 Brides for 7 Brothers' "Sobbin' Women"

Admetus
Augustus
Alonzo
James (of course, we already have Jimmy)
Jonathan (Judges will review whether this is covered by "Johnny")
Plato - all from "Naming of Cats" from Cats

Abraham, from the children's church song "Father Abraham"

Zaccheus, also from a children's church song

Ned, a unique offering from a folk song of Emily's youth, "Foolish Questions"

And finally, because the classics shall not be ignored,

Mack
Louis (though we do have Louie already)
Patrick -- all from Mack the Knife.

Well done, Emily! At least 13 names!


Speaking of mining deep, Mrs. Queeney has my number. She writes:


Amy! You asked for it: I don't know how I let this pass, but everybody missed the Who's "Boris the Spider". I saw them perform it live at Poplar Creek with Mike when he was about 16. Doesn't anybody love the Beatles anymore?

Add "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" (not the same as Max).

If you include the "Mr." titles, you can add "For the Benefit of Mr. Kite" and "Mean Mr. Mustard", both on the Abbey Road album; and from the musical comedy genre, "Mr. Goldstone, I Love You" from Gypsy, and "Mr. Snow" from Carousel, and the 50s classic rock "Mr. Lee" by the Ronnettes.

[AP!: Sorry, no last names. But this does present another sub-category for idle consideration. How many last names appear in American pop songs? I don't really want anyone to answer that question.]


Before you close out the musical theater category, add "I, Don Quixote, the Lord of La Mancha".

[OH. . . Suzanne is kicking herself! How did we miss this, friend??? She and I used to sing this soundtrack all the way through back in The Day.]


Ask if your Mom, Dad or Thallemers remember the name of the show we all saw thanks to Lou Mach's free tickets at the Studebaker Theater - the title was a man's name.

[AP!: There you have it, Mom and Dad. MLQ has thrown the gauntlet in front of you. Mom, if you know it, don't say it. We want to put OOO's steel trap to the test.]


In the folk music category I found the Kingston Trio's "Corey, Corey" but didn't count "Tom Dooley" or "John Birch Society" from the Chad Mitchell Trio.

I will ask you to consider their "James James Morrison Morrison Weatherby George Dupree" (lyrics continue: took great care of his mother though he was only three...".)

[AP!: What am I supposed to do with this song, MLQ? In that whole thing. . .I guess we have the new additions "Morrison"--but only one--and "Weatherby"--we have George, and Dupree is a last name. Right?]

I found "The Ballad of Sigmund Freud" and "Old King Cole" on a Harry Belafonte album but didn't include "John Henry" because of duplication.

You never run out of Irishmen, and since they never shut up, there are more songs - I found "Colm Quigley" and "Elzic's Farewell" on Celtic music albums, and remembered "H,A, double R, I,G,A,N spells Harrigan".

The Benjamin Britten opera "Peter Grimes" belongs in, but maybe not "Billy Budd", also because of duplication. I think they're both from the 1940s.

Please add, from a salient moment of your misspent youth, the 1985 Chicago Bears "Super Bear Shuffle". We'll skip the two Mikes and Jims, but consider including OTIS (Wilson), GARY (Fencik) and maybe STEVE (Fuller).

[AP!: Ah, the the day the Bears won Super Bowl XX, I turned 11 years old. I still have the deck of Bears playing cards that Mrs. Thallemer gave me at the superbowl party that kind of sort of doubled as a birthday cake time for me. And I remember many of the lyrics from the "Shuffle," especially Gary Fencik's, RIP:

"It's Gary here
And I'm Mr. Clean
They call me hit man
Don't know what they mean

Buddy's guys
Cover it down to the bone
That's why they call it
The 46 zone

Come on everybody
Let's scream and yell
We're gonna' do the shuffle
And ring your bell."

[And I still don't know what "46 zone" means.]

MLQ goes on:

Do nicknames count? If so, add SWEETNESS for Walter Payton and FRIDGE for William Perry.

[AP!: Sorry, no nicknames. But if we allowed them, Sweetness would be first on the list. This whole conversation reminds me of when my brother turned 34. He said, "That's right! It's my year of Peyton!" Because, of course, Walter Peyton was #34.

That year, John's house caught on fire, his family was displaced for the year and the job he had expected to pan out didn't, though something else did come through.

Well. I turned 34 in January. And am in the midst of my Year of Peyton. You know what? You can go f. . . eh, never mind. I just consulted Sister #1, and she says she had a bad Year of Peyton. Makes me wonder: how did everyone else do with year #34?]

MLQ again:

I checked to see if "Boris the Spider" made the cut and was chagrined at the lack of "Bo Diddley" and "Bojangles". These are classics!

I started this by remembering Porgy and Finian, from the Broadway shows bearing their names, then forgot to include them.

I don't have a copy of Steve Goodman's "A Dying Cub Fan's Last Request" but I'm sure it included ERNIE (Banks) and Keith (Moreland). I did find "Song for David" and "The Dutchman" - too generic?

Neil Diamond recorded "Longfellow Serenade" and "Soolaimon".
If you keep this up any longer, I'll have to go find some 8-tracks

[AP!: The Dutchman? Too generic, yes. But what a robust round of applause this effort deserves. 8-tracks? Oh, please save us!

MLQ also e-mailed with the answer to the theater question posed to Mom and Dad, but I'm not giving it up, because I really want to see if he remembers.]


Sheesh. How many names is that from MLQ? After excluding the last names among them, we are left with a whopping 20 names!

And then, and then and then and then, MLQ writes:

"Let me know when you're ready to count the women's song names - the men may have them beaten. I don't think it's the 4:1 ratio you predicted."

Ka POW!

WHAMO!

ShaZAM!

Let me know when you're read to count the women's names. . .


I know what you're all thinking: Do we really have to do this, Amy? Hasn't this all gotten kind of old? We don't have to count women's names. We don't have to get to the end of the test, do we? We've experienced enough of the Name Game. It's time to move on to something else.

I feel you. I am totally there with you. Do you think I really want to start fielding women's names?

You know what? That's exactly what the treatment for cancer feels like right now. It's all pretty old. I know the drill. I'm ready to be done with it. Whatever excitement--no matter how macabre--was there in the first place is gone now. And yet the marathon stretches out in front of us.

It's a long road. And I'm not quite half way done with part of it.

Well, we're half-way done with the Name Game hypothesis. That is, the men's list is looking pretty maxed out. Maybe. All are welcome to continue to add names to it.

But it's time to receive women's names now, too. If I'm right, we'll compile a list 4 times as long. Given that our men's names now number 196 (see below), we're looking for nearly 800 women's names.

Can I tell you how scared I am to see these submissions? Is there a way to control the onslaught?

Well, I'm tossing it out there and we'll see what happens.

I know that Amy is on the list. So that's Name #1.

1. Abie
2. Abraham
3. Adam
4. Admetus
5. Al (taken as different from Albert, because it might be short for Alan)
6. Albert
7. Alex
8. Alfie
9. Alonzo
10. Amadeus
11. Andy
12. Anthony
13. Augustus
14. Austin
15. Beau
16. Ben(nie)
17. Bernie
18. Bill(y)
19. Bo
20. Bob(by)
21. Bojangles
22. Boris
23. Brady
24. Branigan
25. Brian
26. Brutus
27. Buddy
28. Cadigan
29. Cain
30. Casper
31. Charles(Charlie)
32. Chester
33. Chris
34. Claudius
35. Cletus
36. Colm
37. Connely
38. Corey
39. Daniel
40. Davy
41. Dean
42. Diego
43. Don
44. Donnely
45. Dooley
46. Duffy
47. Duke
48. Earl
49. Eddie
50. Eli
51. ElRoy
52. Elvis
53. Elzic
54. Ernie
55. Ezekiel
56. Felix
57. Fernando
58. Finian
59. Flanahan
60. Flannigan
61. Flynn
62. Fogarty
63. Frank
64. Franklin
65. Fred
66. Gabriel
67. Galileo
68. Gary
69. Garreth
70. Gene
71. George
72. Gilligan
73. Gus
74. Hagen
75. Harrigan
76. Harry
77. Henry
78. Hogarty
79. Ivanhoe
80. Jack
81. Jacob
82. Jara
83. Jed
84. Jeremiah
85. Jeremy
86. Jerry
87. Jessie
88. Jesus
89. Jim/James
90. Joey
91. John(ny)
92. Jonas
93. Jose
94. Juan
95. Jud
96. Jude
97. Julio
98. Keith
99. Kelly
100. Kenneth
101. Lafferty
102. Lanahan
103. Lancelot
104. Lawrence
105. Lazarus
106. Lee
107. Lenny
108. Leonard
109. Leonid
110. Leroy
111. Lester
112. Levon
113. Lloyd
114. Louie
115. Luka
116. Luke
117. Mack
118. Madigan
119. MaGinn
120. Mahone
121. Malachy
122. Malcolm
123. Malone
124. Manahan
125. Manny
126. Marciano
127. Marty
128. Marvin
129. Maurice
130. Max
131. Maxwell
132. McGuffy
133. McGuinness
134. Michael
135. Micky
136. Milligan
137. Monty
138. Morrison
139. Moses
140. Muldowney
141. Napoleon
142. Ned
143. O'Fagan
144. O'Hooley
145. O'Houlihan
146. O'Kelly
147. Ollie (perhaps not always a derivative of Oliver)
148. Oliver
149. Otis
150. Owusu
151. Pablo
152. Patrick
153. Paul
154. Peter
155. Pherb
156. Phinnas
157. Plato
158. Plutarch
159. Porgy
160. Rafferty
161. Rasputin
162. Rene
163. Richard
164. Ricky
165. Rico
166. Robin
167. Roland
168. Romeo
169. Ronnie
170. Roy
171. Sam
172. Sean
173. Shanahan
174. Sigmund
175. Silas
176. Soolaimon
177. Stan
178. Steve
179. Sue
180. Thomson
181. Tim
182. Toby
183. Tom(my)
184. Tony
185. Tuck
186. Ulysses
187. Victor
188. Vincent
189. Vito
190. Walter
191. Wayne
192. Weatherby
193. Whelan
194. Willie
195. Wyatt
196. Zaccheus

Theme Song Thursday: Revelation Song

Have you ever read a book that changes you? There have been a few in my adult life--mostly works of literature--that left me different, and for the better, when I closed the cover.

One of those books, which I first read about a year and a half ago, is titled Heaven. As you see here. It's a book of theology in which Alcorn exegetes all that the Bible tells us about Heaven. What will it look like? Will pets or other animals be there? What will we do there for all eternity?

It was a big deal for me to read because I had very little idea of what I was actually looking forward to. We have cartoons that give us a certain version: old men with halos standing on clouds with quill pens checking through a book. . . There are a few movies that offer a version, and usually include the suggestion that human beings "earn wings" and become angels.

But none of this matches up with the version of Heaven presented in the Bible. Nor do they even match up with the version presented in the sacred books of other worlds' religions. (And here might also be a good place to point out that people who suggest that the worlds' religions all boil down to the same basic content need look no further than each religion's vision of the Other Side. To suggest to a Buddhist that his "heaven" is the same as the Christian's is a profound disrespect to the very core of Buddhism. Let's not even start on what Islam teaches. . .)

Anyway. Alcorn does a terrific job of teaching what the Bible teaches, and as I believe the Bible is the truth on these matters, after reading Alcorn's book, I had a much fuller hope and vision for what awaits me.

And it's very, very cool.

Did you know we are going to have jobs in Heaven that will be pure joy for us with no toil??? I'm hoping to be a lecturer on the History of the World Now that We Can See Heaven's Archives on all Matters for at least the first 100,000 years. You are all invited to my presentations. Free to the public.

Another part of our time in Heaven will be corporate worship. I don't know how that will work--maybe there'll be schedule for which band will play when. Bands from all over the world, and I am so looking forward to the Reggae sessions. I picture Jesus dancing on stage with the band as they play and as the rest of Heaven worships Him.

And I have the recurring hope and vision of holding hands will all my family, all worshipping together.

So.

The song that brings Heaven to mind more than other is Revelation Song. We sang it in church this past Sunday and I thought, "This one is for this Thursday!" Most of its lyrics are taken from the Book of Revelation (the book that shows us more of Heaven than any other). I am certain this will be on the of the songs we'll all sing together on day.

Wednesday Note

A few comments about our time together so far (I am writing on Tuesday afternoon, though this will be posted on Wednesday):

1. Laura has been cooking up a storm. She cooks us dinner, makes a lunch out of that for Bryan, sticks the rest in the freezer for several more future dinners. And the week's not even half over! It'll all been so delicious.

2. My game plan for this round is to be as active as I can, even though I feel I latent sense of crappiness. My thought is that being up and around, out and about a little bit will be a) a good distraction and b) better for my body in that it will force muscle movement to respirate the poison. (A medically accurate theory? No idea. But I'll take the placebo effect.)

To this end, our day so far:

Dropped kids off with Betsy and Amy

Drove to Mandy's house

Laura, the driver, parked, turned the car off and then couldn't get the key out. I couldn't either. Couldn't move the steering wheel to get it into line. Couldn't move the gear shift. Couldn't re-start the car. Nothin. We took the key ring off and left it for later.

Mandy drove us to Poor Richard's bookstore and cafe for lunch and a little shopping whence I found a really terrific hat. Before lunch, we blessed the food and asked God to fix the car.

Drove back to Mandy's. Couldn't get it to work. I called Bryan to see if he had any ideas. As I talked, Mandy wiggled and Laura turned the key and then, Ta DAAAA the car started. Crisis averted. They celebrated. I asked Bryan, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard screaming. . ."

Drove to the cancer center to get my white blood cell boosting shot. They saw me 45 minutes before the appointment time, which was good of them. Of course, it's a 2 minute evolution for the tech to get the shot together and then give it to me, so I won't go as far as to call this generous.

Drove home. In all, it was a great way to spend a morning and early afternoon. I hardly noticed that I felt icky. Now, I'm noticing. But the home we came into had just been cleaned by the Merry Maids (whom Joshua calls "The Mary's"), and as the kids are at Betsy's until Friday night, we know we get to enjoy a clean and tidy home for 4 whole days.


3. Finally, once it was suggested, there was really nowhere else to go: I shall call my laptop Lil' Hippo because it is twice the size of Lil' Sweetie (see chemo barn blogs from yesterday) and because it makes me this of this and that, of course, makes me laugh.

So I got someone cleaning for me. Someone else cooking for me. A car that works. My legs kicked up on my recliner and Lil' Hippo hooked into the wifi. No complaints at all.

Sunday Storytime: Policy

It's Tuesday, I know. But this is the story that I failed to post on Sunday.

Last week, I told you one story that informed my Fake Breast Policy. This week, I shall present a second.

This story begins a year ago, at our neighbor’s birthday party. She turned 3, and the cul-de-sac as well as her parents’ Easter European friends were invited. What’s that? Their who? Oh. Right. My neighbors are Bosnians. And they hang out with other Bosnian, Croatian and, believe it or not, Serbian people who found their way to Colorado Springs.

Everyone at the party was very cordial. But after the greetings were exchanged, the cul-de-sac people ended up at one table and the Bosnians et al sat at theirs and spoke Bosnian, presumably.

Night fell and I was about to leave when the party hit that moment of critical mass—you know, when enough folks have left that there’s enough room around one table for all who remain and such remainders suddenly feel a little kinship in being Those Who Lasted.

So I sat down at this table and the conversation became interesting: This was July of 08, the Democratic candidate had not yet been decided and these Bosnian men were weighing in on what they thought of the options. None of them are citizens yet, and none of them seemed to care all that much about the outcome. This wasn’t apathy. It seemed more like cynicism—as in, “What’s the difference? Life is how life is.”

I had been very quiet thus far when one guy said Hilary should win it “Because she is a senator in New York.”

I shrugged and said, “So what? She’s a carpet bagger.”

You all know what this means. It’s a term from the Reconstruction, it refers to a politician who moves to a different state in order to claim the power up for grabs there.

This is not how these Bosnian men understood the term. At once, they all burst into laughter, Sasha jumped from his chair and rushed to me, yelling, “High five, you say that! You give high five!”

Wheels churned madly.

Ohhhh.

“No, no, no!” I tried to explain. “It’s a term from the. . .” but they were half drunk and not interested. Sigh.

I was going to leave then. I really was. But then one guy leapt from this political topic to religion in American. And he was not drunk, and he was the one guy who wasn’t laughing about the misunderstood comment. Specifically, he wanted to know why there were so many different Christian churches. And different Bibles. And why did some worship Mary as part of the Trinity?

He had grown up Muslim, and as is often the case among cultures, had learned a lot of disinformation about a different religion. I certainly wasn’t going to walk away from those questions.

While I was talking with him, my neighbor got to talking with Lucci. Ah, Lucci. He was a hip guy. Tall. Handsome to some, probably, with a receding hairline and locks that flowed to his shoulders. Lucci drove a Porche, paid for his house in an expensive development with cash and, when asked what he did for a living, said, “My business is my business.”

He interrupted all other conversation to pose this question: If insurance covers Viagra, then shouldn’t insurance cover cocaine?

He was not half-drunk. He was entirely drunk. Questions like these are not to be answered in general, and not to be answered when it’s a specific drunk man asking. My neighbor missed this lesson in What To Do With Drunk People and said, “Why would you do cocaine in the first place?”

I was thinking: Because a dealer has to sample his product.

Lucci grasped his highball of whisky from the top, swirled it as he leered over its rim and said, “Because I like to give my women pleasure,” he paused to take a sip, then pointed at us, “for three days at a time.”

And so began the litany of a drunk Croatian re: his physical prowess and personal standards as pertains to women. The most memorable: “My last girlfriend was 8 months younger than my mother.”

This conversation de-railed at one point and allowed me to get back to my other conversation with the Muslim guy. Once that wrapped up, it was time to leave.

And then, a year later, just a couple weeks ago, it was time to go back for the little girl’s 4th birthday.

As the Fake Breast Policy not yet well-formed, I had to consider my options. Mostly, I considered Lucci, and what he’d be likely to say if I went without, and whether he’d say it before or once he got drunk, and then what the fight would look like if Bryan were to hear what Lucci would say.

I wore it. Half hour into the party, I asked the host, “Where’s Lucci?”

He gave a little wave and said, “Lucci is away for a little while.”

I think that’s a Bosnian code for prison.

So, no perverts on the prowl. Just more Eastern Europeans who sat at their table while I sat at mine with neighbors who already know about the surgery. The sun was very strong that day and the yard had little shade. I couldn’t believe how hot I felt.

When I got home and de-fake-breasted, I couldn’t believe it. I handed it over to Bryan and said, “Do you notice anything?”

He said, “This is hot!”

Indeed. Turns out silicon microbeads absorb heat. My chest felt cooked.

And I was asking again: to what end?

Wellness Update

It's the evening of Round 3.

I felt tired right away. My stomach has been very crampy while in the sitting position--that part is new. But since getting home, I've tried to be up and about a lot. I packed the kids up to got to Betsy's tomorrow morning, helped pick up toys, made a point of climbing the stairs a few times. And this has helped fend off the lethargy.

But it still almost hurts to hear children play loudly, so they still need to go. Betsy and Amy have a lot of fun cooked up for them. And I plan to have a lot of fun with Laura. And hopefully she will have a lot of fun cooking for me.

Chemo Barn Visitor

Drippage is almost complete so we'll be packing up here and heading back to the house.

The halfway point is done - she's looking at the downhill stretch of the program and, as confirmed by Dr. Substitute, all is going well.

It's been.....different.
Some educational moments, some lunch, some laughs, some yucky stuff.

Time to take Lil' Hippo home.
Tomorrow it's back to All Amy, All the Time

Live from the Chemo Barn! Part IX

I am on my last bag of drippage, cruising around the internet to check up on my favorite spots when I found the following post on a page that Laura, the sister sitting next to me, told me about months ago.

I can't link to it because it features a lot of bad language. But I cut and paste the relevant text.

The post made me laugh out loud. Then I showed it to Laura, who'd already seen it, and she laughed again. And I laughed even louder. Then she told me to stop because I was going to make her wet herself. And, by then, we were both crying. The guy sitting across from me asked, "What are they giving you?"

The good stuff, buddy.



What's with the stupid pose, Cat? I'm sure you think you are just headed for the Sears catalog now... or you are making fun of people who are headed for the Sears catalog. I'm going to be honest with you, Cat, you look like a total loser, so I really hope this isn't your laid-back-but-sophisticated look.

On the other hand, if you're really trying to make an ironic statement about funny photo portraits in a turn-of-the-century trucker-hat kind of way, then a. I hate you and b. you really should have gone all way

Chemo Barn Visitor

• I, too, love the bullet point feature.
• It makes my thoughts seem more important.
• Also, it seems that a great slab of humanity has lost the ability to pay attention for longer than a bullet point thought (thank you Mr. Gates)
• So in order to reach more people, it is important to make frequent use of said BPs.

Live from the Chemo Barn! Part VIII

Cha-ching on a few different levels:

• I am liking the bullet points, Chemo Visitor
• And you are right next to me to show me how to do them
• And right now, "Lil Hippo" is the front-running contender, if the rest of you are looking for direction

Chemo Barn Visitor

I would like to suggest one of the following:

• Lil' Hippo (because it is three times the size of my sweetie)
• The Cadillac or other luxury car name (because it's a luxury laptop)
• Delia or Delilah (it's a Dell)

Taking a leap of faith here, Amy. You may be stuck with something you can't live with.

Live from the Chemo Barn: Part VII

I'm writing on Lil' Sweetie. This is what Laura has named her laptop. Which makes me think: I should name my laptop.

So here's a contest of sorts: I invite you all to submit names for my laptop from now until I leave the chemo barn, which should be in about 2 hours. eg. 2 PM mountain time. I'll choose one of the names submited (and if there's only 1, so be it) and use it to refer to my laptop from now until the end of my chemo treatments in November.

Will this entice anyone to participate in the simultaneousl live blogging?

Oh, wait, Laura just did some razzle dazzle with my laptop (insert future name here), and it's now connected. She probably wants Lil' Sweetie back.

Chemo Barn Visitor

Well, lunch has been delivered - Bryan came by with Gemma and Josh and Boston Market chicken salad sandwiches...very tasty.

The kids were not impressed with the facility and although they were interested with all the tubes coming out of Mommy they were much more interested in getting back out to the car where they had sweet potatoes from Boston Market waiting for them.

The first bag just finished up, two more to go. On the whole, a pretty dull process. I will admit that it is odd to be eating a chicken salad sandwich in a room full of people on recliners hooked up to bags of poison.

btw, Amy is having trouble connecting to the internet so it'll just be me for a while.

Chemo Barn Visitor

Ah yes, the substitute Dr. He was nice. I was sorry to miss meeting Dr. Science but he should be there next time for Amy.

The good news was that Amy appears to be doing very well with the regimen, her reactions to the chemo are all within normal range and her body is handling things well. Substitute Dr. almost seemed a little disappointed - as in, not much for him to address.

He did get a little excited at the opportunity to answer some of Amy's questions re: longer term impacts of the Herceptin. He mentioned the possibility of hot flashes but told her that they wouldn't be all that extreme and that they weren't all that bad anyway. I asked how he was doing with them because they were really making it tough for me to get a good night's sleep.

Amy's labs are back and they are getting ready to hook up the bag o'poison. I'll be looking away now.

Chemo Barn VI

Back from the substitute doctor.

I feel for a guy in this situation. All he's got before opening the door to the exam/consultation room is a chart 2 inches thick with a name on it.

He opened the door. Saw me. Saw Laura. Said, "Hello."

I said, "Hello. I'm the patient." And I tipped my hat to him.

He wasn't sure if I meant this to be a little jokie jokie. . .

It all went pretty well. I had some questions. He knew the answers. The chairs were arranged in an "L" in the corner, with the doctor's stool between. So I was on one side of him. He faced me, and I could see Laura to his side.

I asked him a lymphedema question, and he wanted to know how many lymph nodes I'd had removed. I told him, "All of them."

He: "People have different amounts."

Me: "I think the number was 23."

He: "Oh. . .that's a bunch."

At which point, Laura rolled her eyes, a big "DUH!" written all over her face.

So, yeah, substitute doctor. Nice guy. Competent, as he was able to answer my questions in great detail. Yet. Something about him didn't seem as smart as Dr. Science.

We're back in the barn, awaiting my lab report. Once those numbers are official, they can hook me up for meds.

Chemo Barn Visitor

Mmmmmm. Animal crackers - haven't had these in years. And they're very generous with the portions - the little zip lock baggies all have what seems like a full box.

This is going to be fun - Amy is making observations about all her fellow recipients here. I just hope none of them find the blog...

Chemo Barn V

Ah, yes, I haven't even mentioned the refreshment station at the chemo barn. Coffee and tea available. Little bags of pretzels and. . .Laura is now back--seems like Animal Crackers, too. Yes, Mom, this what your first born is eating for breakfast.

Chemo Barn Visitor

Amy is more observant than I am - totally missed the cute new guy. I did see the woman here with her husband (who has no hair), she took a photo of him with her phone. His response - Now why would you do that?

It's a new phone, she's trying to figure out how to make it work.

It's starting to fill up - good thing we got here early. Access to wall outlets is key. I'm going to get some coffee.

Live from the Chemo Barn! Part IV

Round 3, coming my way!

Sister #1 is here with me. We arrived 15 minutes early to be sure we got good seats. "Good," as in, "minimal view of other cancer sojourners and easy access to power outlets so we can BLOG SIMULTANEOUSLY."

Well. We ended up with a maximum view of the chemo barn. But the power outlets are all ours, baby.

Courtney withdrew my blood at 8:20 to send to the lab. My appointment with the doctor is to happen at 9:30. But this will not yield any further Markus Family History because that doctor is not in today. Instead, I'm seeing a substitute. I'll let you know all about him or her.

There's only one other patient here so far. A young guy. Not older than 25. Here with his Dad. I think he thought Courtney was cute. But it might just be that he was doing the whole rookie thing. You know: I'm OK. I'm really pleasant. I don't mind being here. I'm happy to see you! brave face thing.

Not that I did that. My rookie position was more: I can't believe I'm going to have chemo pumped into my body. This very moment might be my nadir.

Oh! His name is Joseph. The nurse just called him.

Other signs he is a rookie:

He has a full head of hair and a beard. And Courtney used the freezing spray on him before sticking with him, whereas those of us more seasoned have our lidocane cream we put on at home.

More to come.

Plans for Monday

Whoah!

It's Sunday night, and I haven't posted my story! In a Her Moment, I did write it, then brought the laptop upstairs to the desk where I plug in to the router, then plugged in and then. . .powered down and left the room.

Huh.

Sister #1, Laura, arrived here Saturday and hanging out with her is a lot more fun than sitting at the computer. Tomorrow, I will be doing both. That is, Laura and I shall BLOG LIVE and SIMULTANEOUSLY from the chemo barn!

So stay tuned on Monday. We should hit the blogosphere by 10 AM mountain time.

And Sunday's story will make a guest appearance on Tuesday.