This week's close shave reminded me of our time in Leavenworth.
In our first year there, I finally convinced Bryan to let me by electric clippers so that I could give him his haircuts. There's nothing complicated about a high and tight, after all. And at $8 a haircut, the $32 paid for themselves in just 2 months. This was a no-brainer. Besides, Bryan was a student at the Command General Staff College. He spent most of his time with 20 peers in a classroom. There were no high-stakes briefs to be spit-shined for. Surely I could give him a haircut that would be a little better than 'good enough' if not 'as good' as he'd get on Post.
And besides, these clippers have different sized combs that are numbered, the lower the number, the closer the clip. There was no worry about getting the length "even"--these things are designed for idiots! I'd be fine.
All of this didn't quite convince him. But it mounted in such a way that he aquiessed. Every other week, I clipped his hair in our bathroom. With each haircut, his faith in this plan grew.
Then, one week, and I like to think that it happened on a Sunday night, late, when he told me, late, that he needed a haircut and so I was under a bit of duress, I clipped it too short. Was on a "tight" mode on the side and went up too "high" such that I had to make the top of his head a little "tighter" in order to avoid the creation of a mohawkish sort of look.
The next day, he went to class and his peers asked him, "Did you go to the Prison to get your hair cut?"
Oh, hah hah hah, guys and gals.
"It'll grow back," I told Bryan, when he reported this to me.
2 weeks later, guess what. No. You're wrong. Bryan did let me clip his hair again. "I learned my lesson!" I told him. And he's such a sweet, sweet man that he gave me another chance.
I didn't let him down. Over the next 2 haircuts.
On the third, I--was distracted? was too tired? was hungry? was in a hurry?--clipped the top of his head.
Without a comb over the razor.
DOH!
Well. There's only one way to fix a mistake like that. I shaved his whole head without a comb over the razor.
And apologized profusely.
The next day in class, his peers handed him a wad of cash and said, "We took up a collection to send you to a real barber."
I'm pretty sure the real reason Bryan held a garage sale that spring was to sell off those clippers.
At the end of the year, each class submitted their own photos and captions for their page in the CGSC yearbook. Their page included a picture of Bryan reading the paper (which he was also famous for--while others spent their downtime chatting, he spent his behind the pages of the Kansas City Star).
Below this photo was the caption, there for all posterity to read as this yearbook is not only on his peers' bookshelves, but that of the Eisenhower Library as well:
"Today's Horoscope: You will have a bad hair day."
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4 comments:
This is plain hilarious! Sometimes humor is the best remedy of all! How good you have such a strong and supportive (and forgiving!) spouse! The Kansas City Star, I think, was Hemingway's first employment as a journalist. I think of you so often, Amy.
OK, completely off topic, but what is up with Hemingway?? A co-worker mentioned seeing the Hemingway room at OPRF, then Laura posted her bit on the re-publishing of one of Hemingway's books, and now a comment randomly noting Hemingway's first employer - all in the span of 5 days. Random. Later gators
Too funny!!! When I mess up Justin's hair I always get the giggles - and he gets frustrated. Like the time I thought I was nicely trimming his hairline in the back, the next day with his uniform it was way too high off the back of his shirt. ...I giggled all day thinking about it!
You look great, Amy, in all the recent pics. We've had one of those hair clipper sets for a while now, too, by the way, and I've been doing my husband's close haircuts for several years now (being an engineer, he likes that it saves money doing it at home - being somewhat frugal about most expenses seems to be a common trait among many engineers I've met or heard about). I use #4 or #3 on top of his head, #2 along the sides and back, just up to a certain point. Then a comb and hair scissors for the sides around the ears and for strays near the front hairline. There was one day I didn't have to clip much from the top, and I told him so, which just depressed him a bit because he knows he's slowly but surely going bald on top. We've been cutting his hair closer each time so the baldness will look gradual and not "all of a sudden." I got a new clipper set for my own hair, because I like to use a #8 all over my own head (wearing it short, cut down to an inch all around). It's sometimes hard to do all by myself (my own head) but it's do-able. So far no pieces have fallen off while using the clipper, thank goodness (for hubby AND me), hehe.
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