Surgery Update

30 June 09

1. A giant thank you to Laurie, who sent out all the e-updates over the past week. It was a load off Bryan's shoulders not to have to send them, but still to know they were going out and prayers were going up.

2. A giant thank you to Laura, my sister, who set up this blog and coached me in the way of bloggers.

3. I got home on Monday and am feeling really great. The kids are home. Mom is here for another week. All is very, very well. Thank you for all your prayers. We don't know everything about how prayers works. But one day, we will. And as of today, what I know for certain is that they have been "working" for the last 3 weeks. See below.

4. A brief re-cap: I went into this surgery expecting a radical mastectomy--the breast, all the lymph nodes on the right side and a huge portion of my pectoralis. I was expecting a total of 3 nerves to be cut, a drastic reduction of strength on the right side because of muscle loss, and a disfigurement that basically looked like my right chest was caved in.

The PET scan also showed a cancerous lymph node under the collar bone that the surgery would not be able to address. So even though I'd have these complications for the rest of my life, I would still leave the hospital with cancer in my body.

Bryan and I chose this surgery over the option of doing chemical and protein treatments first. I'll write more about the details in a post under the "Seeing God" label. Suffice to say here that we chose surgery because God led us to it. Not doing the surgery would have amounted--for us--to ignoring the voice of God.

I didn't relish the predicted outcome, but in the end, we made the choice we knew to be God-honoring because we couldn't know for sure with our eyes what was right. But we know for certain that we can't go wrong when our intention is to obey Him.

Here's what actually happened in the surgery: the surgeon took a small slice of muscle and pathology showed it to be non-cancerous, so my pectoralis was spared. The 2 nerves in the muscle went un-touched. (There is no way to avoid the 3rd-it gets cut when the lymph nodes come out.) And, in the words of my surgeon, "By grace, I just reached up in there and was able to feel the lymph node under your collar bone. I pulled it out with my hand." That is, the surgery was a mastectomy, not a radical matectomy, and every last bit of cancer is now out of my body. My surgeon is crediting God for this and so are we.

5. Speaking of the surgeon. Dr. Mayfield. From the beginning--including the moment where he ended up taking our case even though it should have gone to a different doctor on call--God has made it clear that Mayfield is the surgeon He chose for us. And Mayfield himself--by his own accounting--has been filled with a compassion and concern over my case that has exceeded what he usually experiences, and Byran and I believe that this special concern has been an instrument for God to lead us to a choice we otherwise might not have had the courage to make.

My surgery was on Friday at 11 AM. He stayed until 9:30 PM to make sure everything was settled.

There was a blip with the port installation. Something about it didn't go right, and he had to insert a chest tube to suction air out. Because of it, I had an extra 2 seconds of pain when the tube went in to release the air pocket and an extra 2 seconds of pain when the tube came out the next day and a total of 4 days in my own, private room with my own nurse in the ICU. I call that a great bargain.

Mayfield came in himself on Saturday and Sunday--though it wasn't his weekend on call--and even brought his wife on Saturday to meet me! (She is a sweet gal, and the two of them are the cutest couple--I wanted to put them on a shelf!)

It has been a pure blessing to us that he is a believer. In the last 3 weeks, we have clearly seen God's Hand in his. I know I'm going on too long about this. But what can I say? God saved my life and he used Dr. Mayfield to do it.

6. But even greater than Dr. Mayfielf emerges the biggest hero of the story: sweet Bryan. I knew he was an excellent husband. 4 weeks ago, before the diagnosis, I was completely in love with him and completely ensured that he loves me. But in these last weeks--particularly this last one--I have been overwhelmed by his heart. I guess there's no point in giving the details because you already get the point: There is no one I'd rather have at my side on this road, there is no one who could do a better job, and aside from my very salvation, there will be no greater blessing in my life than having Bryan as my husband.

7. I feel like George Baily in It's a Wonderful Life --he has this incredible, unique experiences that shows him how many people love him and value him, that shows him all the ways he is walking in grace. That's what this whole cancer thing has been like for me. I am surrounded by love and support and sweetness, and God is showing me how He's tying it all together, using it all to paint a portrait of provision and protection, mercy and grace.

Thank you thank you thank you all--for your prayers, cards, e-mails, books, flowers and fruit (!) and your love. I am a blessed woman. May God bless you.