Saturday, July 11, 2009

A Brighter Look

I've told you all about my initial look at my new look.

For a few days after coming home, I had pretty much the same reaction each night before the mirror. Maybe it was even worse because it was a full-body picture. And it is grotesque.

Maybe you're thinking, "No, no. Come on, Amy. You're not grotesque." If you are thinking this, I invite you to re-visit the definition of "grotesque."

But as I looked, I would say to myself:

a) This is what the cure for cancer looks like

b) Each day you see this, it will seem a little more normal. And one day, maybe a year from now, you will not mind.

(This is probably the place to note that we could have taken a script from a Hallmark TV special depicting the ideal husband's reaction and it would have looked identical to Bryan's, the only difference being that Bryan actually meant it all.)

Well, it's been all of 2 weeks. And I already don't mind. That's how long it took to get used to. Less than 2 weeks. Life goes on. Maybe re-construction awaits me in the future. Maybe not. It's all good. And it's pretty low on my list of concerns.

So now that I'm over the sensitive, tragic element of the surgery, can I register a complaint?

Let's stop calling this surgery a 'mastectomy.' And, for that matter, let's stop calling the yearly x-rays "mammograms."

Why?

Because we need to stop pretending that breasts are mammary glands. They are not. Breasts are breasts. They are almost completely about appearance. And once in a while, some of them make milk.

I'm no gender historian, but I'd be willing to bet that the one mark of physical difference between the sexes that transcends time, culture and class is breasts. Not hair style and length. Not make-up. Not clothing. Not the swivel or non-swivel of hips. Not the shaving of certain body parts. But breasts. Sure, obviously, there is another physical difference, but that one is not publically apparent.

For a brief window of time in the lives of a lot women--but not all, let's note--breasts feed children. I am thankful that I was able to nurse my two babies. But even then, part of that experience was experiencing my breasts as something other than body parts directly related to appearance. And after a combined total of about 16 months between 2 babies, they stopped being mammary glands and went back to being breasts. 16 months! Out of 34 years? These are not glands, people!!!! These are half of a woman's physical treasure.

That's why everyone notices when a woman has a lot more treasure than most.

Can we just be honest about this? Let's just call it "Breast removal surgery." OK? And let's recommend that women get their yearly "Breast X-Ray." And we'll leave all the mammary gland nonsense to the scientists who need to classify humans as mammals because we nurse our young. The rest of us can classify humans as the creatures who appeal to one another in more vastly sophisticated ways than any other animal, along with one pretty basic way that has a lot to do breasts.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is that your new hair in the photo? If yes, please add a different photo that gives us a better look - this looks like your long hair is just behind you.

Anonymous said...

Not that it's not cute - just not new...

Amy Ponce! said...

I put a "hair" pic on the bottom of the post. I couldn't figure out how to add an addition side photo.

Amy Ponce! said...

Oh wait! THAT'S how. OK. Bottom photo moved to top side.

SET said...

You are right about the new do - so darn cute. It is really darling. And the kiddos are so darn cute too.

Anonymous said...

Hi Amy Cousin Jan here.
Your dad forwarded your facebook tag that I logged on and read.
I remember the anger at the establishment when I went through a fraction of your surgery. That anger brought me through the tough times and opened my eyes to others going through Cancer processes not necessarily breast cancer.
I love your attitude and your trust and love in God. This too was my saving grace. Since I was pregnant most of our married life, I guess I got more use out of those mammary glands than most women.
I have found that as long as you look wonderful, the public thinks everything in your life is going well. Don't let the bastards get you down, God is always there, I know because He was for me and anyone else who cares to take the time to talk to Him.
Glad to hear you speak out in a positive way and thank you for sharing. Love Jan Oliver

Amy Ponce! said...

Thank you for this encouragement, Jan. And, yes, you are one of the champions of nursing, so if you want to think of them as glands you are TOTALLY entitled. :)

And we can both be so thankful that we're married to men who are not part of the establishment regarding these things.

My very best to you and Georgie!

Anonymous said...

Hi, Amy - from Mom -
Finally posting my comment to this segment (as I tried a couple of times and you finally talked me through on how to do so) - from your comments above and after spending time with you and now that I see you are comfortable with yourself and your body, I can tell you that on the day of your surgery while Bryan was at the hospital with his good friends, David and Helen, I was at your home awaiting news. With the need to do something to keep my mind busy, I went about doing a few loads of laundry and while folding, came across your bra. As I held it up to commence folding, I looked and burst out into tears - mothers do these things - so I grieved with you and it's past us now.

Amy, I must tell you how very proud I am of you - your friend, Betsy, called you an "angel" and perhaps Our Lord has designated you as one at this time as you have been so very open about what has happened, how you feel, how you came through the surgery, etc., and by doing so, have helped your family and friends overcome fear of the unknown. HE works in mysterious ways!